Bonsai

and i could be ficus
bound by copper around my soul
holding me scarring me
shaping me

i could be all lies
i could resist myself
breathe through one of my lungs
smile and laugh like nothing matters
and choke down half my air
until my blood is half poison

but no matter how hard i try
i can't be that perfect little
work of art
lying on a table
and taking in the light
i cannot be your juniper
your azalea
your star magnolia
with all the pretty silent flowers
smiling up at the sun

i will be the strongest
i will be the best liar
and maybe in time i'll mold myself
to that painful position

August 11, 2003

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